milkylicious^^

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

It’s over.

Mike and I finally broke-up yesterday through text. I was really pissed. If not for that 3-page text message that I’ve sent to him by at least 5 times, we wouldn’t bother to tell me. Nakakaasar na kasi e. It’s been 3 days since he last texted me. I simply don’t know what happened to him, I don’t know what’s the problem or if were still together. So I decided to bombard his inbox and demanded some respect and courtesy to at least tell me the situation of our relationship.

He replied saying that he was so busy and that he couldn’t balance his work and our relationship. He said that he does not deserve me and it will just be our source of conflict in the future if we still continue with it. That’s bullshit!

First of all, even before, I already understood and accepted the nature of his work that its beyond time and always on-call. For me, all I asked is a single text everyday to tell me kung kamusta na siya or kung tuloy ba ang lakad. Maiintindihan ko na kagad yun no follow-up questions, no interrogations etc. A fucking single text is all I ask from him. Gaano ba kahirap yun? E mas madalas pa nga siyang pumunta sa CR at kumain kaysa dun. That text would not take 30 seconds of his time, hindi pa niya magawa yun. Second, if he’s so busy, bakit nakakainom pa siya with friends. Lets face it he just have problems in prioritizing things. I could never take his reason na marami siyang ginagawa sa trabaho dahil ang trabaho hindi naman nababawasan yan. It’s all about time management punyeta!

Eto pa ang kinasasama ng loob ko, he vicariously courted me for almost a month, fetching me from work, treating me out, constantly calls at home etc. And now, I can’t help it but to question kung bakit na lang siyang naging cold noong naging kami na. At first I admit na hindi ko siya mahal. As I said in my previous entries, sasagutin ko lang siya kung naclear ko na ang mga hesitations ko sa kanya at kung kahit papaano ay nakita ko na ang mga hinahanap ko. Pero ewan ko ba kung bakit ngayong sinagot ko na siya at mahal ko na yung tao siya bigla naman siyang lumayo sakin? May mga tao ba talaga ganun?

Sana mas kinilala ko na lang siya. Maybe 1 month isn’t long enough to get to know a person. Pero come to think of it, malay ko, kahit 1 taon pa niya akong ligawan, ganito pa rin ang gawin niya, mas masakit lang sa huli.

As of now, I’m really messed up. I can’t concentrate on my work, can’t eat as well as sleep. Nakakatawa nga e, bigla akong nilalagnat ngayon.

I’ve waited for this relationship for more than a year only to find out in the end that this affair would only last 2 weeks. Nakakatawa talaga! I did my best to make this relationship perfect for the both of us or at least to work out pero he just gave up on me so easily. He didn’t even tried. I tried to understand his situation and I have wholly accepted him as the person whom I’m going to spend my life for a long time; sa birthday ko, sa pasko, bagong taong, sa birthday niya hanggang sa anniversary namin. Nanghihinayang lang ako sa mga plans namin, that were going to live together on one roof, going to Baguio this September etc. Oh well, promises are made to be broken.

Our relationship only lasted for 2 weeks. The shortest I’ve ever been to. For some, you wouldn’t even consider this as a relationship kasi nga sobrang ikli. Nakakatawa talaga kung iisipin. Maski ako kung papayuhan ko ang sarili ko mabilis kong masasabi na “he’s not worth it!” Pero bakit ganun, ang sakit pa rin? Siguro masyado ko lang minahal talaga yung tao.

So dahil nga 2 linggo lang kami tumagal, I hope I could easily recover by half of the period we stayed as a couple. So here’s my moving on schedule hahaha!

Moving On Schedule

Monday: Denial

Our break-up didn’t sank-in to me yesterday. It was just a normal day as if nothing happened. Gone out with my friends, had dinner and drank ice-cold beer from Sarah’s etc. I just cried not because of our break-up but my friends are forcing me to cry. The day ended up me drunk.

Tuesday: Anger

Di ba halata sa blog na ‘to na may bitterness at anger ang nagsulat?
I just cried the whole day!

Wednesday: Bargaining

Tomorrow, I’m going to text Mike if we could meet and talk about it.
Mahal ko talaga yung tao e. I’m hoping for a one last chance. Kahit babaan ko pa pride ko at ireconcile ang integrity ko gagawin ko. Bahala na.

Thursday: Acceptance

As the stage says, I will accept na wala na kami.
I will cry for the last time.

Friday: Forgiveness

I will text Mike my final message to him.
I will tell him na hindi ako galit na naiintindihan ko siya. That there would be no bad memories that reminded me of him.
I will say “I love you” for the last time

Saturday: Moving On

I will delete all of his texts and contact numbers on my phone.
I will have a celebration with friends,
Inuman to the max!

PS: Sige Liam lokohin mo sarili mo!

4:10 PM

Monday, August 27, 2007

Choice Movie: Action Adventure
* Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End
300
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Spider-Man 3
Transformers

Choice Movie: Drama
* The Pursuit of Happyness
Step Up
Stomp the Yard
The Departed
The Guardian

Choice Movie Actor: Drama
* Will Smith (The Pursuit of Happyness)
Ashton Kutcher (The Guardian)
Leonardo DiCaprio (The Departed, Blood Diamond)
Channing Tatum (Step Up)
Adam Sandler (Reign Over Me)

Choice Movie Actress: Drama
* Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls)
Angelina Jolie (A Mighty Heart)
Lindsay Lohan (Bobby, Georgia Rule)
Meagan Good (Stomp the Yard)
Scarlett Johansson (The Black Dahlia, The Prestige)

Choice Movie Actor: Action Adventure
* Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End)
Shia LaBeouf (Transformers)
Chris Evans (Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer)
Orlando Bloom (Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End)
Tobey Maguire (Spider-Man 3)

Choice Movie Actress: Action Adventure
* Keira Knightley (Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End)
Jessica Alba (Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer)
Kirsten Dunst (Spider-Man 3)
Lena Headey (300)
Megan Fox (Transformers)

Choice Movie Actress: Comedy
* Sophia Bush (John Tucker Must Die)
Emma Roberts (Nancy Drew)
Jessica Simpson (Employee of the Month)
Katherine Heigl (Knocked Up)
Kate Hudson (You, Me and Dupree)

Choice Movie Actor: Horror/Thiller
* Shia LaBeouf (Disturbia)
Josh Duhamel (Turistas)
Jim Carrey (The Number 23)
Ryan Gosling (Fracture)
Jake Gyllenhaal (Zodiac)

Choice Movie Actress: Horror/Thiller
* Sophia Bush (The Hitcher)
Jordana Brewster (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning)
Amber Tamblyn (The Grudge 2)
Elisha Cuthbert (Captivity)
Jessica Biel (Next)

Choice Movie: Villain
* Bill Nighy (Davy Jones) - Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End
Al Pacino (Willie Bank) - Ocean's Thirteen
Julian McMahon (Victor Von Doom) - Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Megatron - Transformers
Topher Grace (Venom) - Spider-Man 3

Choice Movie: Hissy Fit
* Ryan Seacrest (Knocked Up)
Cameron Diaz (The Holiday)
Will Ferrell (Blades Of Glory)
Steve Carell (Evan Almighty)
Jessica Alba (Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer)

Choice Movie: Dance
* Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan (Step Up)
Columbus Short (Stomp The Yard)
Ioan Gruffudd (Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer)
Jon Heder and Will Ferrell (Blades of Glory)
Tobey Maguire (Spider-Man 3)

Choice Movie: Breakout Female
* Sophia Bush (John Tucker Must Die, The Hitcher)
Megan Fox (Transformers)
Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls)
Emma Roberts (Nancy Drew)
Rachel Bilson (The Last Kiss)

Choice Movie: Breakout Male
* Shia LaBeouf (Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, Disturbia, Transformers)
Chris Brown (Stomp the Yard)
Justin Timberlake (Alpha Dog, Black Snake Moan)
Justin Long (Accepted, The Break-Up, Live Free or Die Hard, Idiocracy)
Jaden Smith (The Pursuit of Happyness)

Choice Movie: Chemistry
* Will Smith and Jaden Smith (The Pursuit of Happyness)
Shia LaBeouf and Bumblebee (Transformers)
Ocean's Thirteen (Ocean's Thirteen)
Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd (Knocked Up)
Will Ferrell and Jon Heder (Blades of Glory)

Choice Movie: Scream
* Steve Carell (Evan Almighty)
Jonah Hill (Accepted)
Jordana Brewster (Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning)
Kate Beckinsale (Vacancy)
Arielle Kebbel (The Grudge 2)

Choice TV: Movie
* High School Musical 2
Jump In!
Life Is Not A Fairy Tale: The Fantasia Barrino Story
The Initiation of Sarah
The Naked Brothers Band: The Movie

Choice TV: Reality/Variety Show
* American Idol
America's Next Top Model
Dancing With the Stars
The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll
The Hills

Choice TV: Male Reality/Variety Star
* Sanjaya (American Idol)
Apolo Anton Ohno (Dancing with the Stars)
Flavor Flav (Flavor of Love)
Jojo, Diggy, Russy (Run's sons) (Run's House)
Three 6 Mafia (Adventures in Hollyhood)

Choice TV: Female Reality/Variety Star
* Lauren Conrad (The Hills)
Jaslene Gonzalez (America's Next Top Model)
Jordin Sparks (American Idol)
New York (I Love New York)
Paris Hilton (The Simple Life)

Choice TV Actor: Comedy
* Steve Carell (The Office)
Adrian Grenier (Entourage)
Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men)
David Spade (Rules of Engagement)
Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother)

Choice TV Actress: Comedy
* Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana)
Emma Roberts (Unfabulous)
Tia D. Mowry (The Game)
America Ferrera (Ugly Betty)
Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives)

Choice TV: Breakout
* America Ferrera (Ugly Betty)
Matt Dallas (Kyle XY)
Taylor Kitsch (Friday Night Lights)
Hayden Panettiere (Heroes)
Masi Oka (Heroes)

Choice Music: Single
* Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
Cupid's Chokehold/Breakfast in America - Gym Class Heroes (Feat. Patrick Stump)
The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani (Feat. Akon)
Umbrella - Rihanna (Feat. Jay-Z)
Give It To Me - Timbaland (Feat. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake)

Choice Music: Male Artist
* Justin Timberlake
Bow Wow
John Mayer
Ne-Yo
Timbaland

Choice Music: Female Artist
* Fergie
Gwen Stefani
Carrie Underwood
Nelly Furtado
Rihanna

Choice Music: Rap Artist
* Timbaland
Ludacris
T.I.
Fabolous
Young Jeezy

Choice Music: R&B Artist
* Rihanna
Chris Brown
Ne-Yo
Akon
Beyonce

Choice Music: Breakout Artist - Female
* Vanessa Hudgens
Amy Winehouse
Corinne Bailey Rae
Katharine McPhee
Lily Allen

Choice Music: Breakout Artist - Male
* Akon
Lloyd
Mika
MIMS
Robin Thicke

Choice Music: Love Song
* With Love - Hilary Duff
Don't Matter - Akon
First Time - Lifehouse
Lost Without You - Robin Thicke
Stolen - Dashboard Confessional

Choice Music: R&B Track
* Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston
Because of You - Ne-Yo
Get it Shawty - Lloyd
Last Night - Diddy (Featuring Keyshia Cole)
Wall to Wall - Chris Brown

Choice Music: Payback Track
* What Goes Around... - Justin Timberlake
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
Never Again - Kelly Clarkson
Irreplaceable - Beyonce
U + Ur Hand - Pink

Choice Male Hottie
* Zac Efron
Josh Duhamel
Orlando Bloom
T.I.
Taylor Kitsch

Choice Female Hottie
* Jessica Alba
Megan Fox
Hayden Panettiere
Jessica Biel
Rihanna

Choice Comedian
* Dane Cook
David Spade
Jack Black
Katt Williams
Will Ferrell

Choice Summer Movie - Drama/Action Adventure
* Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix
Fantastic 4: Rise of The Silver Surfer
Live Free or Die Hard
Transformers
The Bourne Ultimatum

Choice Summer Movie - Comedy/Musical
* Hairspray
Rush Hour 3
Superbad
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
The Simpsons Movie

Choice Summer Song
* Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
Party Like A Rock Star - Shop Boyz
Shut Up and Drive - Rihanna
Lip Gloss - Lil Mama
Beautiful Girls- Sean Kingston

Choice Summer Artist
* Miley Cyrus
Fergie
Avril Lavigne
Maroon 5
Rihanna

Choice Summer TV Show
* Degrassi
America's Got Talent
So You Think You Can Dance
The Singing Bee
Don't Forget The Lyrics

Choice V Cast Video
* The Hills
Mindfreak
Mind of Mencia
Prom Queen
Ford Models

10:30 AM

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Lately, Mike and I were having problems on time management and prioritization. It’s been already a week since we saw each other, 3 days since we talked on the phone and 2 days since he last texted me. No, I'm angry it's just that I’m beginning to worry on what might happen to him. He's not answering my messages and calls, I hate it! I can't concentrate on my work and I'm just so fucking paranoid every time my cellphone rings hoping that it was him.

The same scenario already happened last week. Last Tuesday, we were supposed to go out on a date. At 3 P.M., I asked him if he could make it, he confirmed. Then, I texted him again at 6 P.M. if ever there would be some change of plans, he didn't replied. I began calling him but his phone was off. This series of inquiry continued until 3 A.M. In the morning, as i was packing my stuff and getting ready for Tagaytay, I received a text from him saying that he was really busy last night. He apologized that couldn’t answer my calls for he was in a meeting. I answered that it was ok and I'm just worried. Then, he confessed that he was having a hard time balancing our relationship and his work. I began to cry. I asked him if he was giving up…if we were breaking-up, he simply told me that he wanted me to stay.

Today, I’m experiencing the same dilemma. Ang hirap lang! All I need is just one text from him, kontento nako dun. I don’t care kung tuloy kami later o hindi, I just want to know if he’s ok.

Right now, questions suddenly bopped in to my mind. Am I a high maintenance boyfriend? Do I expect and demand too much from him? Karma ko na siguro ‘to.

Ngayon, sigurado nako mahal ko na siya dahil hindi ako mababaliw ng ganito kung hindi ko siya mahal. Mukhang nagbago yata ang ihip ng hangin. I wanted him to stay.

Sana maayos ko pa ‘to...

2:33 PM

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Banknote collectors have something to look forward to in 2008. In commemoration of the centennial of the University of the Philippines (UP), the "Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas has approved the overprinting of the image of the Oblation on new hundred peso bills to be circulated soon".

The image above is only a speculation. Overprints are usually done on the white space on the right side of the banknote. The overprinted bills will most likely be issued in 2008, the year of UP's centennial.

The Oblation is the iconic symbol of the University of the Philippines, represented by a man with arms wide-stretched and face facing up, symbolizing selfless offering of one's self to his country.

5:26 PM

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Due to certain circumstances like work, prank texters and kuripot friends who couldn't afford to text me, im forced to shift to Globe.
Starting today my new primary number is 09158775641
Kindly save this number on your phones so that you could contact me if ever you guys need something. Note that my old smart number 09186499218 is still active so don't erase it. So text-text at reply-reply na lang. Thanks.

5:40 PM

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Yes, I was able to watch 4 out of 9 full-length features at the recently held Cinemalaya Independent Film Festival at the UP Film Center last week. Not bad for a person like me who works for a mainstream network and does not fully understand the aesthetics of independent film making. As long as i wanted to watch all 9 features, i have work and wasn't able to sneak out of office to catch the 5pm screenings.

The first film i saw was Tukso, a film directed by Dennis Magasigan which starred by friend Diana Malahay who was the lead actress. I went there alone (too bad, i dont have a date). The film just remembered me of Gus Van Sant's "Elephant" and Akira Kurisawa's "Roshomon". It was also nostalgic impact to me for the treatment and concept was like my long old forgotten and unfinished thesis. Its one of those locally produced detective movies and it must say it was my favorite.

The second film was Kadin by Adolf Alix Jr. I watched the movie with my orgmates Liezel and Ivy (punyeta ang ingay lang nila kasama!). The movie was about the journey of Peping who was in his quest to find his missing goat. Though the cinematography was outstanding, I'm must say that the story was very thin. It would have been better if the movie was pegged as a short film rather than a full length feature.

Jay Abello's Ligaw Liham was next. Seen the movie with officemate Toni last thursday. No comment! We just went to Sarah's out of desperation.

Finally, I was with Alina and Rain on watching Jim Libiran's Tribu last friday. It was really a beautiful film and without a doubt it was the Best Picture for everybody in the theater.

4:44 PM